so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
