eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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