True but thats because hes a fetus.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
