She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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