Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
