I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize