I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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