I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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