...so i touched it.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
