You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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