i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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