Porn is love you can see.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
