Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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