sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
