you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
