just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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