Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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