she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
