i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
