It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I need moral support for this bender
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize