Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
