she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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