Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
