so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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