You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize