he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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