i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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