grandma shit on top of the toilet
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
