i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize