Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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