Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
