no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
