He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize