that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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