Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
