he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
