you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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