Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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