it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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