I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
