I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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