is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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