guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize