You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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