Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
