4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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