Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize