So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
