We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
