is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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