Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
