im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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