According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
