i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
