she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize