dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
