I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
