dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
