I must be too annoying 4 u.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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