I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
