Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize