I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
