apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
