I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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