Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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