I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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