So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
