those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
