I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
