Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My vagina just recognized that song.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
