I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize