I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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