I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
