I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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