We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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