at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
