look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
