i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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