I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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